Many of us think that we don't have time for self-care. I'm definitely guilty of that. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed and make excuses to ourselves that self-care is time-consuming, expensive, or even a bit selfish.
The thing we forget is that self-care is necessary. It can be easy and freeing, and can actually be acquired on a daily basis.
Self-care is just that -- taking care of yourself. The term describes a conscious act a person takes in order to promote their own physical, mental, and emotional health. When we can learn to take care of ourselves, we are then able to share that with others as well.
So is self-care selfish?
I say, it depends on your intention. There is good selfish (practicing healthy habits in order to take care of yourself) and there is bad selfish (taking away from others in order to please yourself). So yes, self-care is selfish in a way that is good for you, and in turn can be good for the loved ones in your life. It is a means of restoring your own energy.
Self-care is your choice and your personal responsibility.
Self-care isn't just about finding ways to relax. One "rule" about self-care is that it ought to include things that promote a healthy physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. If we achieve things in these different areas, starting with some basics and moving forward, we feel more balanced.
- Physical - Our physical bodies are what we "live" in. Healthy bodies help to power our minds so that we are energetic, strong, and alert. Start with some physical self-care ideas like jogging, yoga, a healthy diet, keeping up on personal hygiene, a vitamin/supplement regimen, breathing exercises, etc.
- Emotional/Mental - When we have healthy minds, we tend to default to more positively thinking. Thoughts of worry, frustration, and stress tend to become lessened. Some things to stimulate our minds include a good night's sleep, meditation, some sort of journaling (gratitude, dream, etc.), even crossword puzzles and drawing exercises.
- Spiritual - This topic can include religious practices, or not -- it's your personal choice. To practice spirituality means to feel fulfilled. Feelings such as happiness are fleeting; fulfillment is something that is lasting. Some ideas to practice feeling fulfilled can be finding connection in community involvement, a support group, strengthening relationships, volunteering, and meditations.
We need to remember to pay attention to all three areas and bring balance to ourselves.
These practices can eventually become a cycle, meaning one thing effects the other. When you sleep well at night, you most likely are more active, more alert, and feel better during the day. When you feel better, you react to things in a more positive/constructive way. When you react more positively, you feel more fulfilled, and are able to sleep better. And on the cycle can progress.
Where do you feel like your self-care cycle is out of balance?
Self-care is vital for building resilience toward those stressors in life that you can't eliminate -- like work, paying bills, running errands, sitting in traffic, etc. Stressors look like different things to all of us. Identify what those things are for you, and see where some self-care might help to balance the stress.
Write down your personal self-care plan.
Writing things down helps to solidify what we want to accomplish and also gives us a visual tool to help us reach those goals.
How to make a self-care plan:
- Think about where your time is spent. What areas are more stressful than others?
- An effective self-care plan should be tailored to your life and your needs.
- As your situations change, your self-care needs are likely to shift as well.
- Check in with yourself.
- What healthy self-care activities can help to balance out your unique stressors?
- Start with baby steps. Schedule in self-care until it becomes more a part of your daily routine.
Another kind of self-care? Finding answers to issues that you may be experiencing through talking with a trusted person. A good person who listens and understands what is going on for you can be an awesome form of self-care. An example is a counselor/coach, someone who listens non-judgmentally, is able to understand your perspective, and works collaboratively with you to help you reach your next goals.
I have been in that spot myself, of wanting to understand how to better take care of myself, but not super sure where to start. I sought out my own answers and am loving my self-care routine!
My current personal self-care includes SO many things -- like trips to the gym, morning hikes, healthy eating habits, funny entertainment, old Alfred Hitchcock movies, enjoying a cup of coffee, knitting a new comfort shawl, talking things out with people I trust, learning new things, quality time with family and friends, appreciating times of quietness.
Self-care ought to be a daily practice. On good days it will feel refreshing. On those kind of rough days, it might take incorporating extra self-care practices to feel back to normal. The beauty of a personal self-care plan is that it's your own. Self-care can be scheduled -- or not! Use your strategies when stressed -- or not!
Caring for yourself is one of the most incredible things you can do for you, and in turn for others. When you empower yourself with healthy habits, you’ll have greater awareness, improved personal strength, and a desire to share your healthy energy with the people around you.